Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize