well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
