My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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