Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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