You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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