I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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