Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
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A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
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You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'