shes about as inviting as chlamydia
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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