They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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