This is not my ceiling
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
