CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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