YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can text with my tongue
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize