if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize