Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
porn star boner night. come get it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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