): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Your penis caused this!
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