How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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