If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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