I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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