Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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