That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
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1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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