YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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