can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize