We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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