He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
