arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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