i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My feet surprised me
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