In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize