Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
