I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
