we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
