I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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