i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
