I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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