dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
