'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize