My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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