you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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