Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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