If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your dick twin last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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