my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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