I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.