Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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