OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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