Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life