My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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