maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
