I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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