sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
