I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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