We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize